Open Book

I have been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to blog about our infertility struggles.  Writing is cathartic for me.  Always has been.  I am an open book, if you ask  I will tell it like it is, ok sometimes even when you don't ask I will still tell.  So, what if what I have to say helps someone else trying to defeat this horrible, unfair, unjust, blob called infertility?  What if one day B or hopefully our other child(ren) want to know more about their beginning?  What if one day I want to write a book (it's on my bucket list)?  Well, needless to say since you are reading this I obviously decided to share our journey.


A little background.  Brooklynn was conceived through IVF with ICSI (in-vitro fertilization).  In fact she was not from a fresh IVF cycle so she was frozen from our fresh cycle that didn't result in a pregnancy.  So she's our icicle baby.  Don't call her a test tube baby or I might punch you.  I think that's an awful term.  The fact that she was an embryo from a previous cycle, frozen, thawed and then implanted and resulted in a perfect little being well that's a miracle folks!


Before I had B I swore we would be back at our fertility clinic within 6 months of having her.  I loved pregnancy.  Loved it.  I wanted more of it.  But once my hormones calmed down I returned to my senses and even went through a period of thinking B would be an only child.  The roller coaster of IF (infertility) is awful.  It's emotionally exhausting and really just a big gamble minus all the pretty lights of Vegas.  There's no guarantee you will end up biological parents, none.  I am a very practical person.  I don't like living without guarantees.  But then there is B in all her loveliness.  How could we not try again knowing that if it worked we would have more of the wonderful, gooeyness that is parenthood?


So this blog is about our journey the second time around.  I will be brutally honest which means to our parents there might be posts you would rather not read.  I am likely to cuss some, ok maybe a lot because there are times when a good curse word is all that's left.  I will try my best to educate because really this is all very confusing.  But please ask me questions along the way if you just don't get it.  I will share pictures of all the drugs, the injections, the BS we have to go through.  I will try to make you laugh because at the end of the day if you can't laugh at what we have to go through to get to parenthood gooeyness then you just may not have a sense of humor at all.


Here we go....