In many ways I think this round of IVF will be easier. We know what to expect. A quick refresher course on mixing drugs and giving injections and we should be ready to go. But at the same time it feels like the stakes are much higher. When the first round of IVF didn't work in '08 we were devastated and felt empty but we didn't know what we were missing. This time we know what we will be missing if I don't get pregnant again. Yes we will have B to comfort us but she will also be a reminder of just how wonderful parenting is and how much not only we will be missing but she will be as well if it doesn't work. That's the only part that scares me. I can handle the 50+ injections, the side effects and the waiting, I am just worried I can't handle the heartbreak.
All that aside I refuse to go into this round of IVF defeated. We have great odds. It worked before. My body can and will do this. I will squelch the fear and worry and enjoy the 2nd time around.
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