I walked out of the clinic with 2 big bags of drugs and needles and a heavy heart. I felt alone and pathetic that my body couldn't make a baby on it's own. Ashamed that something as personal as making a baby resorts to a pharmacist who makes me feel as if he were a football coach talking to his quarterback, "go and get 'em" and a nurse who is as compassionate as she is smart but all I can think of as she shows me one of the injections is that she must feel really sorry for me. It sucked but at the same time I held those bags as I would hold a child because in a crazy way that's what all these drugs symbolize for us. Somewhere on the drive home I decided that I hate pity parties so I was determined to leave mine without a guest of honor. Pity party of one I am checking out!
So here is a picture of all the magic that will help us make a baby. Science is a wonderful thing.
This morning was my first injection. It's supposed to be done at the same time each morning which would be ok other than the fact that I get up really early 2 days a week for work. So at 5:30 Mark gave me my Lupron injection. Basically this drug suppresses my estrogen which throws me into what feels like menopause. During an IVF cycle the doctors goal is obviously to get the patient pregnant well the only way to do that is to control every hormone for the cycle. Lupron is the first step in that. Of all the injections this one has the smallest needle and is really not too bad.
But holy side effects. I do not remember them being this bad the last 2 times I went through this. All day I was nauseous, irritable (no, I am not usually this way), weepy and just felt plain yucky. I am trying to keep my eye on our goal but as I lie here in bed I can't help but count the hours until the next injection knowing that not too long after the wave of symptoms will hit.....
PS: I have no idea why the font size changed. Sorry, after 15min trying to fix it I give up or else the computer might end up across the room :)
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